I don’t mean to sound like a broken record, Chuck, but would you ever guess that I’ve been writing since I was little? That’s right! Just like most other twenty-something-year-old writers, I too thought I was special in grade school. It wasn’t my fault, though, Chuck! I swear. My fourth-grade spelling teacher made me believe I was a special writing snowflake. I could hear you from the beyond already asking “wah wah wah wah wah wah wah?” and I will address exactly how this concerns you in a second.
First, let me catch you up on a few of my latest Peanuts purchases. As a continuous loyal fan, I have discovered that the best place to buy anything Snoopy-related is at Marshall’s. Within the last few months, I have bought three plush blankets depicting Snoopy and gang in various hijinks. I should also add, I have thoroughly enjoyed sipping on the hot chocolate from the Peanuts tin can I bought, also from Marshall’s. There! Now we are all caught up on how I continue to help your estate as your most loyal fan.
I should also take this moment to apologize for the Snoopy-in-a-witch-hat plushie’s missing nose. The dog got to him just as when he had gobbled up Snoopy-in-a-skeleton-costume plushie’s eyes previously, when we last spoke. No need to worry, though, Chuck! All of the Snoopys (Snoopies?) now live in the drawer beneath my bed. Safe from canine teeth.
Where were we? Oh, yes. Look Chuck, when Ms. I-don’t-remember-her-name-for-the-life-of-me assigned our class to write a short fiction story, I knew there was only one thing I could write about. I needed to tell the story of Snoopy and the gang going camping. It didn’t matter this story had already been told in Race for Your Life, Charlie Brown because I had my own original spin on it! Remember, Chuck, I was a special writing snowflake!
Soon, my young career as a fanfiction writer took off. Ms. I-don’t-remember-her-name-for-the-life-of-me kept asking me to write more about your beloved Peanuts and write I did. I became the most prolific writer I have ever been in my entire life, which is to say my writing career may have peaked within in the fourth grade.
I don’t know what happened to the binder with a terribly drawn Snoopy on the cover (I was a writer, not a writer AND illustrator like you) containing volumes one through four of my Peanuts fanfiction. It may have gotten lost amidst all the moving my family did when I was a child. Though to be honest, I think perhaps the Red Baron swooped in and stole them one night.
Look, Chuck, my tangent has gone on quite long enough. I know you’re a busy man. You taught me how to craft a story. Having been an English-as-a-second-language learner, your work helped strengthen the foundation that would train my non-native tongue to pursue a newfound passion. I hope the lost fanfiction binder finds its way to you in the beyond someday. I know, Chuck, I know. You say “wah wah wah wah wah wah,” but you’re being too modest. Looking forward to our future correspondence, Chuck!
As Marcy would say, “Goodnight, Sir.”
Angelica Julia Davila is currently working on her PhD in Creative Writing at University of Illinois at Chicago. She is also a comedian and improvisor.