A Brief History of the Coffee/Tea Break in Nintendo’s Mother Series, Writing as Getting Lost, Bombs, Wolves, Wax Jesus, & the Art of Pretending to Pray
1. When I was a kid I didn’t understand the concept of praying, like at all. So I faked it. Every single time, I faked: put my hands together & pretended, just in case, going through the motions. Made a cave with my fingers clasped to clutch at light. To amplify the signal. I never did say Dear God though. I figured, if God was really God, He had no use, nor time, for such formalities.
2. In the mid ‘90s, my temple was a series of interconnected hamster tubes for humans called Discovery Zone. This was my second favorite place next to Ripley’s Believe It or Not, with its uncanny valley of wax celebrities & kitsch exhibits. (I was particularly partial to the interactive tour of Jesus Christ’s life, though to this day still retain the mental scars of seeing a secondhand deity melting aloft on his cross due to harsh lighting, a defective version that would be subsequently yanked down & replaced with a dubious Matthew McConaughey-looking knockoff savior.) But I digress…
3. In Super Nintendo’s Earthbound (otherwise known in Japan as Mother 2), there was a scene that always captivated young me. About halfway through the game, as I remember it—maybe a bit later?—if you deign to drink a cup of coffee at a certain place at a certain time, you will be treated to a hypnotic metafictional pep talk, directly addressed to the ostensible “you.” The text reads as follows:
You've traveled very far from
home...
Do you remember how your long
and winding journey began with
someone pounding at your door?
It was Pokey, the worst person in
your neighborhood, who knocked
on the door that fateful night.
On your way, you have walked,
thought and fought. Yet through
all this, you have never lost your
courage. You have grown steadily
stronger, though you have
experienced the pain of battle
many times.
You are no longer alone in your
adventure, Paula who is
steadfast, kind and even pretty,
is always at your side.
Jeff is with you as well.
Though he is timid, he came from
a distant land to help you.
Ness, as you certainly
know by now, you are not a
regular young man... You have
an awesome destiny to fulfill.
The journey from this point will
be long, and it will be more
difficult than anything you have
undergone to this point. Yet, I
know you will be all right. When
good battles evil, which side do
you believe wins? Do you have
faith that good is triumphant?
One thing you must never lose is
courage. If you believe in the
goal you are striving for, you will
be courageous. There are many
difficult times ahead, but you
must keep your sense of humor,
work through the tough
situations and enjoy yourself.
When you have finished this cup
of coffee, your adventure will
begin again. Next you must pass
though a vast desert and
proceed to the big city of
Fourside.
Ness...
Paula...
Jeff...
Poo...
I wish you luck...
(For the complete experience, a YouTube video of the sequence is available here.)
4. At its best, writing is a kind of perfect loneliness that’s not loneliness at all because you’re having a dialogue with a stranger through time & space, whoever happens to be reading it truly on the other end; at its worst, writing is just loneliness amplified—words go skittering but they remain unheard, clung in the crevices, like pinprick echoes in a cave.
5. Stalactites aren’t antennas.
6. Helllooooo? Is anybody out there?
7. The first & last time I sat in the pews of a church I felt nothing of the holy spirit. The first time I almost died, bobbing on my tippy toes in a swimming pool & gasping for air, I felt nothing of the holy spirit. The second time I almost died, racing down a steep hill on my Ninja Turtles skateboard on my belly into rushing traffic & diving off at the last second only to watch the board split in half, I felt nothing of the holy spirit. The first time I saw Earthbound’s coffee / tea sequence as a lonely kid alone at night, I wept & felt something like holiness for the very first time.
8. The point is: Getting lost was an important part of my childhood. I would take long walks around my hometown, barefooted & hauling a long stick, tramping up & down the streets of my neighborhood in search of secret geographies I didn’t already know or recognize. Sometimes I would scale trees or wade deep into the sewers, imagining I had entered a lush cavernous alien landscape, to my mother’s eternal scowling disapproval. My collection of scuffs, grass stains, & socks soggy with stale water always betrayed these meandering excursions, & too soon my license to wander untrammeled by adult supervision would be revoked.
9. Writing, too, is a kind of meandering—widening path of spiral eye toward the pain. Putting together a self piecemeal from assorted junkparts & possibilities.
10. Are you listening? Is anybody? Are you reading this truly, or only going through the motions of reading it?
11. An early title for this piece was Instructions for Building a Bombproof Heart at the End of the World in Spite of the Wolves, So Full of Their Dreaming, Rooting Around the Neighborhood for Any Little Scrap of Light Left to Fill Their Loved-Starved & Bulging Bellies. But at some point I realized the piece had nothing to do with wolves or bombs or hearts.
12. Thusly, Discovery Zone offered a relatively safe environment in which to explore the labyrinthine ductwork of my own imagination. There were chasms, shafts, tunnels, corners, corridors. Ziplines, ball pits, twisting slides. Zigs & zags of scaffolding over which to climb & claustrophobic tunnels galore through which to clamber & snake my fragile-boned body. Most importantly, there were places to hide high above the world; perfect spots out of which to peek through a latticework of netting, down upon which I could peer in silent witness the busy world bustling below.
13. If you deign to drink a cup of tea at a certain time in a certain place in Earthbound, here’s the scrolling text you’re treated to (full experience here):
Like a great tapestry, vertical and
horizontal threads have met and
become intertwined, creating a
huge, beautiful image.
You may have cursed this never-
ending journey. You have known
injury and defeat, but you have
struggled on to reach this place.
Your in-born intelligence and
courage have helped bring you
here. You have believed in your
friends, and as a group, you have
supported each other. Have you
ever stopped to consider how
much your power has grown?
Now, you could fell enemies in
Onett and Twoson with one
blow. As you certainly know,
you cannot turn back. Giygas,
the arch fiend of the universe, is
growing frightened of you and
your power. He is searching for
ways to end your journey.
From here, the challenge grows
and your adventure will take you
beyond anything you ever
imagined. You are drawing near
to Giygas. Remember when you
are suffering hardships, your
enemy is also struggling.
By the way, do you know where
Pokey went? When this cup of
tea is finished, your adventure will
continue. Your destiny pulls you
in the right direction. Believe in
yourself and press forward.
Ness!
Paula!
Jeff!
Poo!
I wish you luck...
14. & even if it is written truly, what if you’re not in a place or temporal position to read the thing truly? Because you’ve had a bad day, bad month, bad year. Maybe there’s too much noise between us? What then?
15. Maybe a little to do with hearts.
16. I hunger(ed) for new ways to get lost. Secret places to tuck my bones & genuflect in their sacred, stowaway crevices. Fortunately, books emerged to fill this ravenous gap. Getting lost is still an important part of adulthood, too. We need hypothetical spaces through which to crawl & carve out the canvas of us. Mapless, unformed territories to help us form, imagine, dream our hypothetical selves into being.
17. So much depends upon a signal.
18. Another ultimately abandoned title: Playtime for Grownups: On the Value of Getting Lost.
19. Maybe writing is more like a prayer? Maybe that’s the better metaphor? I imagine some prayers go unanswered. I don’t really know. Who does? Is there ever any receipt? Isn’t that the whole basis of faith: trusting in a receiver in absence of confirmation? That there is a thereness there?
20. Seriously, are you there? Is anybody even out there?
21. & who’s to say the message gets through the way it was intended? What of static, the saboteur of distance? Who’s to say angels aren’t getting their wires crossed? What if it’s all one big game of telephone?
22. For some arbitrary reason, recess as a thing critical to one’s development ceased to exist upon reaching a certain plateau of adulthood. With grownup responsibilities, everything inherited a fine glaze of diminished wonder.
23. Every Thanksgiving during the family prayer I keep my eyes open & there is always that one cousin who also keeps their eyes open & we both smirk like it’s the greatest secret & that’s the story of how we started the Secret Eyes Open During Prayer Club for Cousins.
24. I’m doing it wrong aren’t I? I knew it! Eyes have to be closed, don’t they? It’s like kissing, then?
Wait, is that why they never went through?
25. I’m lost again aren’t I? Good.
26. In Mother 3, the sequel to Earthbound released in Japan on Gameboy Advance, if you deign to drink a cup of coffee at a certain time in a certain place, you will be treated to this intermission (full experience here):
No one is simply born “strong.”
People only grow stronger little by little, by
encountering difficult situations and learning
not to run from them, no matter how
frightening or daunting they may be.
Lucas. That is exactly what you
have done to grow strong.
However, you did not do it for yourself.
You grew strong for those you would
otherwise be unable to help. They are the
reason you are strong.
Even now, you occasionally show a glimpse
of it, Lucas. Fleeting images of that
once-pampered, crybaby boy can sometimes
be seen in your smile.
You’ve come a very long way.
There’s no telling what to expect from here
on out, but if one thing is certain, it’s that
those who believe in you will be right there
to help.
Trust in them.
Now go forth, toward whatever stands out
the most in your eyes.
Go, facing not the darkness, but the light.
Lucas…
And his companions…
You have driven the enemy into a corner.
The enemy’s back is to the wall.
There is nothing to fear now.
Everyone is watching on, with complete
faith in you. In their hearts, they all say,
“Thank you!”
Can you hear them?
27. How are you supposed to write about one thing without writing about everything at once?
28. This piece was also called, for a short while, simply: In Search Of.
29. Maybe it all comes down to faith & there’s nothing to soften the gambit? To speak anything into existence means to risk mistranslation. Better to float a wiffleball of meanings flimsily out into the ether, saying “Do with my words what you will, angels” than suffer in silence.
30. SPOILER ALERT: During the final epic battle with Giygas the Cosmic Destroyer at the end of Earthbound, eventually you will find you are powerless. Nothing you can do will hurt Him—no move in your psychic arsenal, no amount of fireworks or upgraded boon nor cracked bat to leave a dent. Only one move, Paula’s ability to pray, is left to elicit a response: when she prays in wild desperation, everyone you’ve helped along your journey hears her. They, in turn, pray back. They sense your collective distress &, like a chain link chorus of cosmic antibodies, rush to your defense with wishful weaponized goodwill. This, in the end, is what saves you. What saves everyone: Karmic Kindness.
31. I have always wondered who is doing the speaking in the Earthbound coffee/tea break sequence. From whom or what is this mysterious benevolent text emanating, reaching out through a careless void to assuage us, encourage us with such fervent kindness & belief in our abilities? Is it the voice of Buzz Buzz, an early ally in the game struck down soon after conveying to our avatar the importance of their fate? Is it the game maker, reaching through the construct of their game to touch the player-participant & say something abruptly sincere? Is it the collective spirit chorus of Mr. Saturn, the first to pray for our heroes during the final boss battle & in whose presence we are first invited to sip tea/coffee & meditate on the meaning of our journey? Is it supposed to be the same voice that Poo hears in the blank slate of his mind while meditating on a mountaintop in Dalaam, while his legs are broken arms taken ears cut off & sight stolen? My favorite theory, though, an unprovable distant possibility: it is our own voice, a future version of ourselves speaking backwards through time, like the one we get after battling the false idol. A future version of ourselves who knows we will make it because we already have, but who also knows how small we once felt. Who knows how much we need to hear it. Or perhaps it is just some disembodied, drug-addled ghost spitting cryptic gibberish: the equivalent of a wrong number left on a cosmic answering machine?
32. SOMEBODY is out there. I can feel it.
33. Write what you feel. How hard a thing that is to do, when the world is constantly trying to tell you what you should be feeling. Write a wild drunken story to tear down the stars. Write one that’s meek, silent as a stone, mild-mannered but sharp like a rising whisper in the throat of a ghost. Carve whatever the hell you want: just make sure it’s yours & don’t let anyone else dictate the loudness of its truth. Keep praying to whatever forever. Just as long as you’re praying to something. A great somethingness instead of a nothingness.
34. I am grateful to books, to Earthbound, to the act of writing for showing me novel ways to get lost without losing myself. For proving an acceptable substitute for an absence of recess.
35. There’s another scene in Earthbound—this one—that occurs upon defeating a literal false idol (it purports to be an evil part of your brain, one you cannot defeat because you forced it into being), where a vision tells you to proceed to Saturn Valley where you will imbibe that fateful drink that will reveal to you your final fate & then you hear your own voice. You level up, wake finally from a long nightmare, & are told: Suddenly, Ness’ mind cleared and he realized that he had possessed great power... He had. As in,
finished. Complete.
36. Afterward, Ness realizes he *has the power of teleport β*…able now to move through time, space, memory, Ness makes all the hidden powers his own, absorbing the power of the land into his heart until Magicant is no more…
37. What about this: I’ll believe in you if you believe in me?
38. There’s that moment when Glinda the Good Witch tells Dorothy she could have clicked her heels together & left Oz at any time, but the journey she had to take for herself to arrive at the realization of her own power. That realization that everything matters. The meaning-making of the thing.
39. Amen.
Matthew Burnside is a writer.